With the security community fully engulfed in Operation Aurora, BlackHat DC, and ShmooCon, it would be easy to overlook a conspiracy. Thankfully the vigilance of SecAnalysis has uncovered an underground brewing storm, known only as ?RaffCon.? As of currently, details of RaffCon are sparse at best. However what is known, is that on 7 February 2009 some of the security communities most well-known if not notorious figures met to discuss various topics. We now are aware that the codename for that meeting was in fact, RaffCon.
In attempting to unravel the tightly knit conspiracy plot that is RaffCon, SecAnalysis scoured the hacker underground for information. At great personal risk, a SecAnalysis turned asset was able to leak the photo below. What this photo reveals is that things are worst than previously suspected.
In this photo it is clear that highly notable and dangerous personas such as Adam Ely, well known for his reporting at Information Week as well as security leadership at Tivo, Rafal Los, known for his evangelization of web application security, Michelle Schaffer, one of the most powerful Public Relations professionals in the security industry, and Caleb Sima, a well known hacker, X-Force alumni and founder of SPI Dynamics were all in attendance. In addition John Terril currently a consultant and yet another SPI alumni known for his short temperment and lethal capabilities as well as Raffy Marty, former Splunk CTO, known for entrancing even the most focused security professionals with dazzling visualizations were also in attendance. Finally, there are several sleepers who may or may not have various special assignments.
It should be noted that Caleb was an asset of SecAnalysis functioning as a double agent. The last time Caleb called over to the SecAnalysis team, was 14 December 2009. The SecAnalysis team went to San Francisco to meet with Sima. However, upon arrival the SecAnalysis team was immediately headed off by RaffCon conspirators Adam Ely and John Terril who brought back up in the form of possible Raffcon sleepers Vincent Liu, managing partner of Stach and Liu and S. Rose, a well known security persona and Security Associate at Stach and Liu. It should also be noted that during the SecAnalysis visitation, it rained uncharacteristically in San Francisco for three full days. Has Ely and the RaffCon conspirators created some type of weather control machine? The SecAnalysis team can only speculate.
What is known is that the communication between Sima and SecAnalysis nearly ended Sima. Shortly after the SecAnalysis team arrival, Sima vanished. He was later found with enough of the chemical CH3CH2OH in his blood system to kill a small elephant. Fortunately, Sima has spent a lifetime building up a resistance to that very agent.
SecAnalysis Takes Action
With no other information SecAnalysis conducted indepth if not torturous interrogations of known players in an attempt to uncover the nefarious activities of codename ?RaffCon.? First up was Rafal Los himself. Below are the details of that interrogation….
?Hello Raf, I want to keep this cordial, please tell me what RaffCon is.?
?Interesting, but what is RaffCon??
SecAnalysis team leaves the room and returns after a half hour. ?Raf, we spoke with Caleb, he told us everything, would you like to tell us of your involvement? It could save you a lot of trouble.?
?Alright Raf, we tried to do this the nice way.? After four hours of waterboarding.
We were then forced to release Rafal Los because of of Geneva conventions. Attempts to question other players including Michelle Schafer yielded similar results.
At this point the SecAnalysis team had no other choice but to burn asset Caleb Sima. At great personal risk, Caleb got into contact with SecAnalysis directly. At first Caleb was not willing to give up information, however, after he was notified that a speculative blog post would be made public regardless of a lack of real information he divulged a highly sensitive piece of information…
The conversation was immediately cut short–the SecAnalysis team has not heard from him since. It seems as though the trail ends here, We encourage our readers to keep asking questions…questions like:
Where is Caleb?
What is so secretive that a public relations rockstar could be silenced?
Are Rose and Liu RaffCon sleepers?
Do Terril and Ely have some type of weather control machine?
What is going down at Source Boston?